i wonder if every woman has the same expectations of themselves as i did before i became a mom. home birth, no sugar, no television, nursing until a ripe age, wooden toys, organic food, soaps and clothing...never raising my voice, never longing for the childless life lost, always patient and kind.
my husband has a song that says, 'it won't be the place i dreamed it would, it can't be the way i thought it could, when i get there...so get lost..." i've found it's true of dream travel destinations, and new homes and love and now, children. we never know what something is until we are in the thick of it, like ants pushing through dirt or birds pushing through wind and then we are acutely aware of what is actually involved and the gravitational truth that no matter our circumstances, we are always putting forth maximum effort.
so my kid has the occasional chocolate. and his love for dora makes beatles fans look like coma patients. he has those annoying plastic toys that make repeated blasts intended to institutionalize parents. but i'm learning to let it go and to accept that i'm doing the best i can with the tools i've been given. plus it is yet another of life's irritating ways of leveling my judgment of others.
i'm learning how to get lost
About Me
- amber lennon
- Writing is my response to an active mind and imagination. I have always been an avid lover of all things literature, from dictionaries to diaries, poetry to polemics. At the age of 12, I received the Young Author's Award for a children's book I wrote and illustrated. I decided to become a writer when I wrote my entrance essay for the Microbiology program at UCSB. Turns out I liked writing the essay more than the program I was applying for. I currently write articles for regional publications in Southern California, covering topics in Human Interest, the Environment, Spirituality, and the Arts. Additional freelance work includes film narration, web content, editing and more.
2 comments:
"we never know what something is until we are in the thick of it, like ants pushing through dirt or birds pushing through wind and then we are acutely aware of what is actually involved and the gravitational truth that no matter our circumstances, we are always putting forth maximum effort."
it is so true...oh, but how we love to dream of the place where the grass is always green...
so very true.... The only place it is green is where you are right now... It takes some a whole lifetime to realize that, if they do. Some keep looking for that greener grass...
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